More Novacaine Please!

I have a dentist appointment at 4pm today.

I am having a tooth pulled.

I am looking forward to this as much as I am having my limbs removed by a vicious pit bull.

I do not understand teeth. I think our creator did a fabulous job making our bodies function the way they do, but I really think he (she?) dropped the ball on our teeth.

If you ever meet a person who has perfect teeth and has no problems with them, take that person to Vegas and let them gamble with your next mortgage payment because that person is lucky.

Why can't our teeth be more like fingernails? You just cut them and they grow back. No worries.

Or screw teeth? Have a problem with one? Just unscrew it and screw another one back in its place. Voila.

This particular tooth of mine had a root canal years ago and I have had a series of caps and had a problem with each and every one. Now they want to remove the tooth and put an implant in its place. Sounds easy enough. Yeah, my insurance doesn't cover an implant. It's cosmetic they say.

Cosmetic? This tooth is so far back in my mouth I don't care if they put a lego back there, no one will see it!

The cost for this implant? For me, a mere $7,000. Yes, $7,000. You see, you never want to take me to Vegas because I am what some people call unlucky. Dentists call me a cash cow. Something about my sinus...blah blah blah...needs to be lifted...blah blah blah. I don't know. All I heard was the cost.

Needless to say the tooth is getting yanked, I am not getting an implant right now, and we're pushing our two year old to go to dental school.

Wish me luck.

"Coma Girl Residence, May I Direct Your Call?"

For some reason my step-sons, who exclusively use their cell phones to...well to live, always give out our home phone number for things like work and sports. So I am constantly getting phone calls like this "Um, I was just um wondering if Mike can um, ya know, work for me um Friday?" or "Yeah, like this is Steve. Like tell Mark practice was like canceled. Later."

It could be because any time I call my step-sons on their cell phones they never answer. I just get an incoherent message that's a bunch of mumblings that I assume is them saying "Leave me a message". However, if you text them you can expect an answer in a matter of seconds. It usually consists of a bunch of consonants and numbers that are supposed to stand for something, but I was born before 1991, so I don't get it.

So in addition to my normal titles of maid, launderer, chef , fixer of computers and chauffeur, I am also a secretary and interpreter of text messages.

L8R

Money Pig

This morning my daughter opened my wallet and took out a penny. She came up to me and said "Look mommy, coin. C'mon, put in money pig."

We went in her room and she grabbed her piggy bank and proceeded to empty my wallet into her "money pig".

So that's how it starts.

Freedom of the Open Road

On Friday, SS#2 took his road test for his driver's license and passed!

Freedom for him, worry and panic for us.

My dad generously gave us his old truck, which I am sure will be pimped out soon. I am happy for him and know that he will take the responsibility seriously...mainly because we have threatened him repeatedly.

I think it will open up new and exciting things for him. For example, he was already able to drive to the bar and see his mother on both Saturday afternoon and Sunday.

Just what you want for your 17 year old.