Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Mamas Boys

My 20 year old step-son told me that his friend's mother still makes his bed.

Didn't Billy Joel teach us that "that's too long"?

I like to think that whoever marries one of my step-sons will thank me one day. Not only do they wash their own plates after dinner, they also clean their bathroom. And if they leave stuff laying around the house, they get one warning to "put it away or I'll sell it on ebay" (or I throw it out, if it's crap).

Their rooms are a different story. They only have to clean it once a week and even that doesn't really constitute "clean". I also still do their laundry and fold it...but they have to bring it to the laundry room and I just leave it by their bedroom door, I don't put it away for them. Mostly because their rooms frighten me.

But still making your 20 year old son's bed? I don't know.

My first thought when he told me about his friend was what does his girlfriend think? I am sure SS#1 has bitched that I make him clean his bathroom (hey, it is not my pee on the seat, why should I clean it?) and I hope his girlfriend is thinking well at least he'll know how to clean a toilet.

I do not make them clean up after themselves because I am an evil step-mother (although I am sure people will think that). I do it because they are old enough. I have never asked one of them to vacuum or mop the kitchen floor. They only have to clean up any mess that they make, which I think is fair.

Is it me? Is 20 too old to have his mommy make his bed? Or am I evil for making them clean the sink after they shave?

The Number of The Day

Today I went to three stores. My total receipts for each store:

Target: $19.37

BJ's: $19.10 (had $3 worth of coupons!)

Staples: $19.53 (got a post-it pop-up dispenser for free!!)

What Are You Looking At?

Another milestone in my daughter's life has passed us - she has thrown her first temper tantrum in public.

I cannot wait to write that in her baby book.

We were in Borders in the children section. I was reading her some books that I did not want to pay for and she was climbing on and off one of those mini kid's chairs.

After about a half an hour of this, I decided that Target was calling our name and I needed a change of scenery.

My daughter had a different plan. So when I tried to get her to leave, she took off running. Have you ever chased a child through those narrow book aisles while dragging a stroller behind you?

I am not sure why I ask that since most of my readers are moms and have probably done this while breastfeeding a newborn.

When I caught her, she started to scream and try to wiggle her way out of my arms. Now Borders is a pretty quiet store and when a small child is screaming at the top of her lungs, everyone turns to stare. But we were in the children section, so I thought I would get some sympathy looks.

Nope.

I wanted to cry. Not only was my daughter behaving like an absolute brat, but other mothers were making me feel like it was my fault and I created this monster.

Mommies we need to stick together. Sure some of us bake cookies and others buy cookies. Some of us home school and others wish that school was year-round. Some of us painstakingly sew Halloween costumes every year and others run to the party store on the 30th buying any costume we can get our hands on. The point is, we are all different, but different does not mean superior...or inferior.

Most of us have had experience with temper tantrums. We know how humiliating it can be. Why not be the person in the store who doesn't stare? Why not be the person who gives dirty looks to the people who are giving the dirty looks to the poor parent of the screaming child?

Why not be a huge help and hand the parent of the screaming child a cocktail?

Why Do I Bother?

There are days when I really dislike talking to step-son #2. This especially happens during those days when he is just out for attention - good or bad; and he was really never taught how to seek good attention, but he is a pro at getting under some one's skin until they get annoyed at him and then he can go "why are you in such a bad mood?"

These are the days when I seriously question my marriage.

Today my husband and I both came home late from work. As my husband is running around trying to cook the boy's dinner and I am running around trying to feed my daughter, step-son #2 comes in the house, leaving his friends, and starts going through our mail that is on the kitchen island.

Me: Can you please leave the mail alone. There is nothing for you
(how many 16 year olds do you know who get mail??)

SS#2: I am just looking.

Me: Well there is nothing for you, so leave it alone.

SS#2: (with an attitude)Well it's the family mail, it's not just yours.

Me: But there is nothing for you and I don't want you going through mine or your father's mail. LEAVE IT ALONE!

SS#2: Fine. Sorry.
(he obviously did not mean it)

I swear, sometimes talking to that child is like talking to a ham sandwich.

Mommy Guilt

I have heard about mommy guilt, but I don't think I had ever experienced it before today.

Today was my daughter's fourth day at daycare--um, school. My husband is in lovely Louisville, Kentucky (for those of you who live there, he cannot believe it is 8:40 at night and he is stuck in traffic, not moving. And we're from New York, we KNOW traffic.). Anyway, today I had to take my little angel to dayc--school and pick her up. Which means instead of her leisurely 9-4 day, she would be there from 7:45 until 5:30. Honestly, I felt horrible about it when I thought how she would feel. But then I remembered that she is only 15 months old and has no concept of time, there are a ton of toys and other kids there to play with, she only goes there 2 days a week, and I am paying for the whole day anyway (that is my cheap side peaking out).

Well when my daughter started to cry when we walked in the room and bury her head into my chest, I had two instincts. One was to quickly kiss her and skedaddle. The other was to take her home, shed my work clothes and sit on the floor with her and play 'where's Ava's belly?'

I chose the former. I went to work crying on the way. I called to check up on her and they said she was doing fine (I wonder if they'd tell me the truth - No she's been screaming for two hours, crying "mommy", refusing to eat and stating that she will never forgive you for this).

When I went to pick her up, I sped the entire way - well as much as I could in rush hour. She was in one of the teacher's arms and she was crying. She cried even louder when she saw me, came to me and again buried her head in my chest. I started to cry in front of everyone. The teacher said she is getting better and is adjusting better than most kids, even though it didn't seem that way. She said she likes music time (that's my dancing queen!) and going for walks in the buggy (which was what they just finished doing and that's why she was crying). She's also getting better with naps. In four days? It took me seven months to get her to sleep well, so I am a little jealous there.

After we left it was already 5:45 and I had to feed her and the step-sons. McDonald's is was! This is where the mommy guilt comes into play. The woman who has kept McDonald's from her daughter for 15 months and 6 days, gave in. Tonight for dinner my daughter had chicken nuggets and french fries. It was bound to happen.

And when she looked at me with a mouth full of deep fried processed chicken and said "mmmmmm", I was so happy.

Random Thoughts on the First Fifteen Months of Motherhood

1. Will my sliding glass doors ever be finger print free again?

2. I never knew how great it felt to feel loved by such a little person. (OK, she doesn't actually say she loves me, but there are those times when she looks at me and I know she is thinking it. There are also other times when she looks at me and is thinking "is this lady really my mother??")

3. How is it possible that I have not gone to the bathroom all day?

4. I wonder how long it will take for her to be lying on a therapist's couch complaining about me.

5. I hope she never stops leaning into my face, putting her mouth to mine and going "mmmmaaaa".

6. How is it that she has a twelve-word vocabulary and still refuses to say "mommy"?

7. Where did all of these darn toys come from?

8. Does playing 'airplane' count as exercise?

9. I wonder if she really thinks The Backyardigans are funny.

10. I never thought I could love someone so much.

Can You Repeat That?

My husband took some vacation time during the first two weeks of my new job. The other day he uttered the words all wives yearn to hear:

"Now that I have been staying home, I really appreciate everything you do."

I can now die a happy woman.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Well today was the first Sunday of football season. A national holiday in my house.

Only seems appropriate that my daughter learned something new:

Touchdown!

Heigh-Ho Heigh-Ho, It's Off To Work I Go Went

Wednesday was my first day of work. I have not had a first day of work in seven years. It felt weird. It felt exciting and scary. It felt like the first day of school.

The night before I laid out my new outfit, set my alarm and put my pocketbook together (had to take out the extra pacifier, wipes and baby sunscreen). And in the morning I actually put on mascara and did not have jelly on my shirt.

I went to work and had actual adult conversations. I did work on the computer that was not mommy, blog, or bill-paying related. And as I sat at my desk, I did not have a child throwing toys at me whining because she wants to play.

Granted I am working on the company's database and organizing their systems, not writing. But I am enjoying it.

My daughter starts daycare on Monday.

I think I am more nervous about that than anything.

No Buffet For You!

I don't know why we keep doing it, but we do. It is like we forget or something.

My husband and I have declared many times that we are not buffet people. First, we do not eat that much. Second, we like taking our leftovers home for a midnight snack (ok, more like a 10pm snack because we're in bed by 11) or for lunch the next day. Fourth, because when you have a small child, it is not fun to take turns going up to get your food. It is like we do not eat together, we eat in shifts. And lastly because they are too darn expensive and never serve alcohol.

Tonight we only had step-son #3 home with us. And we will admit this to anyone, we are not ashamed: He is our favorite. He is such a great kid. I swear he hardly ever does anything wrong and when he does, he apologizes right away and...are you ready for this...he actually means it.

Ok, back to my tale. Perfect Child Step-son #3 wanted Chinese food. So we decided to do something we never do (mainly because, sadly, #1 and #2 do not know how to behave), we took him out to eat. We decided on a Chinese buffet. Why do all our ideas sound much better in theory?

$56 later, I consumed way too much white rice and sesame chicken and not a drop of alcohol, my daughter had thrown everything we tried to give her on the floor, my husband was disgusted with how much he ate because he was "trying to get my money's worth" and step-son #3 was in a food coma.

We're One of A Kind

This is what happened when I put my name into this website:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 2 people with my name in the U.S.A. http://howmanyofme.com">How many have your name?

See, my mother was right, I am special.
And apparently, so is my daughter:

HowManyOfMe.com

There is 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. http://howmanyofme.com">How many have your name?